Dear Charlotte

My little Charlotte Grace,
It is December 28th and Dr. Napier says you could arrive any day now. This is a time full of so many emotions for me. It is hard not knowing exactly when you will be born as I am quite a planner. I guess it is God’s way of introducing me to surprise and the unexpected, which I have a feeling are a big part of being a mother. And of course there is a part of me that is nervous about the labor and delivery itself. And then there is a piece of me that is sad that my pregnancy is already over. It has been such a joy to carry you with me for nine months. It seems like yesterday that I took the pregnancy test. I was fully expecting it to be negative and I will never forget the overwhelming happiness I felt when I saw the faint pink line appear. I just couldn’t believe it. I sent a picture to your dad’s phone. He was at work just down the street. I waited and waited for his reply and the next thing I knew I heard him running up the stairs. He picked me up and hugged me and I just cried. I loved you so much already. At first, it was so hard to believe that you really existed. I didn’t feel different and it took a few months for the baby bump to appear. But I will never forget how real you became at our 12 week appointment. We had a sonogram that day so your Nana came with us. The doctor put the probe on my belly and there you were. At just 12 weeks of life, you already looked like a sweet little baby all curled up inside. I absolutely fell in love with your little face, especially your precious little turned up nose. Your tiny arms and legs were all over the place – this was the first of many times that we were told you were “active”. And then without any warning, the doctor said – “Don’t paint the room yet, but I am pretty sure you are having a baby girl.” It just took my breath away. And again, I just cried. I have been dreaming of you my whole life. I have wanted my very own baby girl since I was a little girl myself and carried around my dolls. And it is a good thing he was right (even though he said he was only 85% sure!) because I have had my heart set on my baby girl from that day forward. You became even more miraculous when I started to feel your little kicks. At first, they were just little flutters but before long we could see your little feet kick out of my belly – it was so amazing. It was hard for me to pay attention sometimes at work with you doing flips in there! It was so much fun – I felt like we shared our own little secret. And just when I had a bad day, you would give me a little pat to remind me that you were there. And everything would be better. But on this day, there is no amount of anxiety or sadness or fear that could even compare to the excitement in my heart for your arrival. I can’t wait to see your face and hold your tiny little hands for the first time. I am so anxious to see what you look like. I always imagine you with pretty pink chubby cheeks, big blue eyes and of course a bald head. I can’t wait to hold you for the first time and introduce you to our family who already loves you so much. I am sure that the day you are born will be one of the best days of my whole life. So whenever you are ready to start your life, I am here ready to love you every day that we have together.