Sad Saturday.

Saturday was a day that I have been dreading for 7 months, 2 weeks and 3 days. It was the last day of nursing my sweet baby. I promised myself before you were even born that we would not fight it or drag it out and as soon as it wasn't working for either of us, we would stop. Well that promise is a lot easier said than done. We might have fought a little - I definitely tried some herbal supplements which are supposed to increase your milk supply, tried drinking TONS of water, eating lots and pumping more but nothing really did the trick. The last couple of weeks you have been more fussy than usual and I was attributing it to your 4 lovely new teeth that are all coming in at once, but this weekend I started to wonder if you were hungry. You have to nurse so often when I am home with you all day to stay full and you have been waking up from naps too soon because you are hungry. And for the first time Friday you cried after you nursed and dad made you a big bottle and you guzzled it right down. So that's when I remembered my promise and knew what we had to do. Saturday was sad, I cried a lot.

But I loved remembering the countless hours we have spent together nursing. I remember the very first time in the delivery room and how my heart skipped a beat when you just latched right on and looked up at me with those dark blue eyes. It was so amazing how peaceful you were, like you knew I was your mama and you could trust me to take care of you. Then the lactation consultants called you "brilliant", they were so right! We never had a hard time learning and for that I am so grateful. And of course I will never forget those first few weeks when pretty much all we did is nurse! I especially loved the night time feedings, when the house was quiet and dark and it was just me and you rocking. I remembering rubbing your soft little cheeks and dark brown hair over and over to keep both of us awake. And then as you got older, I loved that I could always soothe you when you were upset. I loved being your favorite. We nursed after shots, after falls, when you were tired and needed to fall asleep, and in big crowds (not your favorite thing) when you were scared and just wanted your mama. You definitely loved your ninny. I will never forget when you learned to smile and you would be eating and look up and smile over and over. You would try to keep sucking and smiling which of course was totally ineffective and milk would be all over both of us. It was the cutest thing.

You woke up Saturday afternoon from your nap crying which you never do. I knew you were hungry so I went up upstairs to feed you one last time. We rocked and you ate enough to feel full and fell back to sleep on me for about 30 minutes. It was wonderful. You still look so tiny when you nurse, all curled up in my arms. You are the sweetest little thing in the whole world.

So Sunday you had bottles all day and you had a GREAT day and that made me so happy. You took great loooooong naps and played all day long and never fussed. I know we are doing what is best for you. And it was fun to give you bottles too, we still get to rock and cuddle while you eat. I was really most worried about you not being able to settle down because that is always the way I have calmed you. You hate pacifiers. But last night I stood by your bed and gave you your lovie and wasn't even through one verse of You are My Sunshine and you were passed out on my shoulder. I think we are going to be okay :)

And on a happier note, you said mamamamamamamamamamama ALL day long yesterday, it is adorable!!!!!!!!

And just so this post isn't 100% depressing, here are some pics of the fun we had!


Reading with dada before bed

Wild thing (clearly not quite ready for bed)

Sunday's best

Summer is all about swimming and strawberries at our house!

Doing it yourself with your fruit feeder

Hi dad!

More pool fun... cutie patootie little booty!!

You LOVE to splash...

and to play with your animals and laugh at mama making all of their sounds :)

My sweet, smart, sassy, silly seven month old!! (who I think looks like her mama in this pic!)